You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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