**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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