I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize