..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
