Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
