wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
