oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
