Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
