Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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