Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
