Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
