Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Randomize
