Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think I won the penis lottery.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
