These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
