mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
