sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
