The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
