The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
