Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
