real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
