I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
