I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
