its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
