There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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