Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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