All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize