Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
