Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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