Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
