how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
