From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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