So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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