Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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