Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
