I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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