I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize