He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize