Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
