his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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