i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
