We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
