I'm pants shitting drunk right now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
