If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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