Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
