do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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