What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
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