Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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