Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
FUCK WHALES
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
