Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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