gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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