Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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