Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize