break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
