That's when you crack a 10am beer
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
