Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The air was thick with penises
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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