ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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