i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
