4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Don't you send me to vm
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
