oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
