I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
