You can't special order awesome
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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