Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
