he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
