Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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