She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
