Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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